BEAUTY UNMASKED

                *6*

I closed my eyes as the memories of what I did invaded my thoughts,  she didn't deserve my outlash but why were all the treatments not accurate I don't want to be on a medication that wouldn't treat the patches 'but was I ready for this depigmentation that  would live me all white' I closed my eye and rolled over the bed mom was not very happy with my acts as well what I'm I gonna do.

*

"Hi Doc" I greeted shyly raising my hand up a bit,  I was surprised to actually see a smile on her face,  she rose from her chair and gave me a tight hug "please forgive me ---" "Hush now you're back that's all that matters I understand you were a bit overwhelmed with all that I said about the  treatments there's nothing to forgive" she retorted as she pulled me with her to the sofa.  I nodded meekly and held back the smile that was making it's way on my lips.  I met her eyes once we were seated and smiled "Uhm-i-uh" I sighed out the air in my mouth a bit and licked my lips "I've thought things over and uhm-i don't think I'll go through any of the treatments for now" I spoke out nervously,  she had the most surprised look on her face,  but hid it quickly and smiled "I'd say you've really surprised me but since you've not completely made up your mind I'll see look into the treatments for one that befits you" she said rheoterically  I squinted my eyes and bit the side of my lips as her words whirled around my mind,  I didn't want to say anything now but the little research I did online amazed me,  there lots of people with my condition who lived just fine with it,  maybe it was about time I held my head high like literally hold my head high without looking down I tried it when I was coming although I still looked down a bit but I'm doing OK,  I still need some confidence to get used to holding my head high like before.

" I'd like to meet people with my kind of condition" I blurted out quieting her, she nodded then hugged me "I'd not say you're moving fast but is a step in the right direction,  that's exactly what you need,  meeting people with your condition ushers your mind to accept it" I nodded at her words,  this is good "But uhm--do you think I'd be accepted in  the modelling world with this?" I asked hesitantly chewing on my lips, "Let's take this one day at, I don't think your mind and body is ready to be exposed to the world just yet,  you'll have to accept yourself wholeheartedly before sharing yourself with  the rest of the  world" I nodded at how true her words actually were,  o wasn't ready for that yet I had to heal first that's the most important thing healing myself first and bracing myself for the snide remarks that'll be coming my way, this wasn't going to deter me not one bit.

***

The following days that followed were not easy at all, mom was so proud of me,  and I'd been able to make some process being

1. I held my head up ever since I discussed it with Soraya.

2. I've met with people with my condition and amazing doesn't seem to cover just how I feel. The main point being vitiligo is not a curse.

3. I'm a proud member of BEYOND THE SKIN a group of people with skin conditions.

4. I've grown  emotionally and mentally after all sessions with the group and Soraya.

My hand shook a little as I hovered  the pointer on the upload icon I've come a long way from almost getting there to being there  I read over the words I breathed harshly out,  'I'm I ready for this?' I closed my eyes and clicked on the button "The deed has already been done" I whispered in the air.

By Meena_Diasso

meenadiasso.blogspot.com
Honeys2016.wordpress.com